I have never done a drunk post and well it’s about time.
I love Paul Reiser’s book Couplehood. You may ask Paul Auster’s? I will just gravely shake my head. Now unless you know the two authors, you won’t get the joke.
I do not know how many of you are in your thirties and have already figured out life is shitty. Don’t worry if you haven’t you will soon .
Jokes while being callous is protection. For example and please don’t burn me at stake:
My husband is having an online affair.
Well you know I was never good at technology.
Ohhhh …she has cancer? Terminal?
And she never smoked …what a waste?
You’ve been having diarrhea all day?
Well, if you have some good books it’s fine.
She left you for HIM??? !!!
Well, you can’t punish her more.
Your sixteen year old daughter is pregnant?
At least she won’t have sex, drugs and alcohol for it’s bad for the baby.
Your boss is sleeping with the chairman?
Phew, you won’t have to.
You’re maid stole your mangalsutra?
At least she didn’t take your books of poetry, I loved your Ted Hughes, e e cummings, charles bukowski ….
Global warming is going to kill us.
Well, you know how expensive life insurance is.
The Jasmine Revolution is name of pick-up joint.
Well, at least the UN and NATO and moralistic pricks won’t be involved, but of course there will be other pricks involved, the organic kind.
Well, you know what I mean. It’s not in good taste, it’s probably not even funny but there is an interpretation of it, which is not mundane. There is a sort of fuck-you fate, shit happens but my toilet paper will be smooth-as-silk kind of attitude that humour has.
Humour of course, suffering from existential angst, would ask any linguist, ‘Does it realleee, realleee matter if I have a U or not?”
These are not questions I can answer. All I can say is if my husband says “I’m leaving you tonight”, then I would ask him, “Does that mean I can keep the AC at 13 and finally get the goat into bed?”
And all I will say is I am bloody glad for that sense.