I was walking yesterday
On a crunchy carpet of seashells
A crab sauntered past
Desperately trying to imprison
The sand between its claws.
Overhead, the sky was making up its mind
Between bright and dark, changing moods
With every passing, whining cloud.
The wind, as usual, blew things to bits.
The water was brewing secrets within
A bird or two would pierce its skin
Pluck a dripping heart beat
With minuscule rains of annoyance.
Occasionally, a body would wash ashore
An almost pause in beauty
But nobody minded, it was the business of the sea
To puke out unnatural waste
And hide only that which mattered.
The last habit he introduced me to
Took ten years to break
And that too after much pain
Self control, will and other hurtful things.
I still don’t know what part of me
It has carved out and kept
As mementoes of my weaker self.
This one will eat me alive
I know that
But I’ve learnt to wear smiles
And paste a shiny, gold star
On my lapel that reads, ‘Good Girl’.
There is a dog running
Across my vital organs
Trampling the insides out
When he tires, he’ll stop
And his saliva will drool
Into pools, streams and rivulets
Where fish and dog biscuits
Will swim side by side
And crack long, complicated jokes
On haemoglobin counts.
I do not understand happiness
I never have
It’s easier to pour yourself
Down drains of liquid salt
And watch yourself float
That never ending seeking
Of shores where sharks drown
And dragonflies get encased
In silver pendants
That speak of gifts.
There are flowers blooming from my ears
Stalks shooting out, digging roots
In a heart that hasn’t stopped contracting
Since the first drop of rain lashed its centre.
The bees wander in through tooth curtains
Pouty doormats, half open in welcome
Pollen is ignored here, malice nestles closer
Refusing to piggy back on a sharpened sting.
This fertility has a life of its own
Where everything grows and something dies
But who cares what happens
The Gardner’s away for a smoke.
I’ve said goodbye but I’m holding on
Love’s habits are so hard to break
I have bandaged us so many times
Now, that’s all there is left
Plasters without wounds
Frayed bonds of kindness
Waiting to snap, one by one.